Every human part of me wants to be so devastated and mad.
Wants to turn away from God.
Wants to ask why a GOOD God would cause us so much pain and why a loving Father would take away my husband's only living parent and my boys' sweet sweet G-Ma so early that they won't remember her...
Wants to know why He would take away my sweet sister-in-law's (and best friend's) momma before she can see her give birth and help her raise her babies...
But again I fall to my knees and am filled with peace and grace.
I don't deserve it or understand it.
I am choosing to continue to be faithful.
I surrendered my life to the Lord when I was 7 & He never promised me it would be easy.
But He has NEVER failed me & He won't start now.
He doesn't want to hear me complaining and He doesn't have to explain himself.
So no, I am not angry.
But not because of my human nature, but because of Grace.
I am choosing to praise Him still. Every single day. Even on these hardest days of my life.
I read this in my quiet time this morning and I think it is so fitting of Janet.
"7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:7-18
|G-Ma and Hudson in Colorado, Nov 2013|