April 27, 2013

Motivation

See this girl? (on the right, with the curly hair...)

That's me, in college. Most people go to college and gain weight like crazy. I went to college and lost weight. I have always had issues with my weight. My Senior year in high school I lost 16 lbs which kick started my love for exercise. I will never be the type of person who can get away without exercising. I ended up rooming with all cross country runners in college who all ate healthy and ran daily... so what did I do? Ate healthy and ran 3-6 miles (and did one half marathon) daily.

This picture was Valentines Day 2007.
It is significant for two reasons...
1. Because that is the night Bryan and I officially started dating again. The last meal of my "single" life was out with my friends that night.
2. Because I tore my ACL (ligament in my right knee) playing basketball with said roommates 6 days later... basically ending my running career... except when I started running again after we got married and tore it again and had a second surgery... but that is a whole different story.

So what has bad impact on weight... serious (comfortable) relationships and inactivity.

Why am I posting this?

Well because 2 babies and 6 years later I have packed on like 70ish lbs. I look at that girl in that picture and see the body I used to have... (and funny enough I thought I was fat then too) and I want that back. I want to fit into cute clothes again. I have already lost 25 lbs post baby so I am looking at 45-50 lbs more to lose.

My hubby just did insanity and has been eating crazy healthy which is a huge inspiration to me. He is 5 lbs from his goal weight and looks amazing. I am so proud of him but somewhat jealous that he just had to buy all new clothes for work because he was swimming in his others. SO I started insanity this week. It's been a challenge because of my knee there are still some things I can't really do. My orthopedic doctor basically told me I couldn't run ever again and I needed to be careful with high impact stuff because I would be looking at a total knee replacement before I was 40 since I have already had two ACL surgeries on the same knee. So with a few modifications I powered through the workouts. I am SO sore but am hoping to see results quickly. Since it will be YEARS before I (hopefully) get pregnant again, I am also hoping to lose weight to minimize complications that I had with both of my first two pregnancies. I am also following the insanity diet, with an added meal since I am nursing and don't want to deplete my milk supply.

Bryan took before pictures of me. I am horrified. I haven't even looked at them, but I saw my squishy, stretch marked belly in the mirror and know they aren't pretty. When I lose enough weight, I might share them with y'all.

All of that said... the girl in that picture wasn't a happy girl... being skinny didn't make me happy. I was lonely and sad. I had a lot of self-confidence issues then and I was terribly moody. My marriage and babies have made me the most happy person in the whole world. God made me to be a wife and mommy. Those things make me happy. Do I want to be skinny? YES! Of course. But realistically that isn't going to make me happy.

So my days of cookies (my downfall) and soda are gone. I have given up my diet coke. I have (twice) in the last 24 hours ignored the Oreos that are in my fridge screaming EAT ME and have eaten a handful of grapes instead... it's the small thing, people.

Please please please let me know if you're on this journey too, I am sure I will need all of the encouragement I can get. It's hard to make myself work out on NO sleep... but you've got to start somewhere and... well here I am.

6 comments:

  1. good for you, jenna! i am right there with ya!i have such a diet coke/dr pepper weakness! i'm at my heaviest (aside from pregnancy) and i'm miserable. i need motivation too! best of luck! i'll be your cheerleader :)

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  2. Sweet Jesus Jenna, I'm in the same boat. Love the cookies and cokes, but I don't enjoy the weight I have put on in the past years! Good luck on your journey-

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  3. I was that girl that lost weight in college too!! I think I had extra baby weight and it just came off then. And I did insanity right before I got pregnant with this baby. Huge transformation! Good luck to you!

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  4. I love what you said about happiness. I have to remind myself that too. That I may be unhappy with my weight, but I am so happy and blessed overall.

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  5. you can totally do it! All you need is motivation. And you have it. It also TOTALLY helps when the person you live with is on board! I'm kinda in the same boat. Not trying to lose weight, but get muscles and eat healthier. I've at least stopped buying coke and eating healthier in general. It is so hard. but everything worth doing in life is hard! WOO HOO!!

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  6. Hi! Not even sure how I ended up at your blog but I'm glad I did!! I am on my own weight loss journey and have posted several times about it on my blog ~ most recently about how I've hit a wall. Its not an easy journey but one that is sooo worth it!! Would love to follow along on your journey and cheer you on!! =)

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