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January 22, 2014

Tazikis, Rick Warren & How I am dealing....

We made a "New Years Resolution" to do something new each month as a family. So last night we went to eat at a new Greek restaurant in town, Tazikis.



Peek-a-boo Rhett
Beef Gyro, it was yum!
Then we came to our house and started watching the video series by Rick Warren, How to get through what you're going through, that he wrote after losing his son last year. We are going to meet on Tuesday nights for the next several weeks to watch the video series together. Last night we watched the first hour of the intro and there were a lot of good verses and information!

A few things that I loved were...

1 Corinthians 1:3-11, especially verses 4 and 10

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

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Kay Warren said it perfectly... When someone asked how they were doing shortly after their son's death, she said we are devastated, but not destroyed. That is exactly how I feel. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4:8-9
  
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28 

Two points that Rick Warren shared were:
1. What you know gets you through life.
2. Our hope is firm in what we know.

And the thing that stuck out the most to me was when he said... 
"It is okay to ask God 'why?' but the test is what do you do when you don't get an answer? Because you're not going to. When in pain, explanations don't help. You need God."

I am so glad that my hope is in the Lord and not in earthly things. Every single ounce of my being is aching and mad and longing for Janet to be back here with us. But I know that was not God's plan and that his plan is for the greater good... because like Romans 8:28 says "he causes ALL things to work together for the good of those who love him". 

Isaiah 43:2 says "When you pass through the waters I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you."

(I loved the first part of this series and recommend it to anyone struggling with a huge life trial. Jordan and I were going to go to a women's bible study to do this same series but I don't feel like I am at a point where I can talk about my feelings with people yet and we decided to do this as a family instead, I am so glad to be part of a family who loves the Lord.)
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Someone asked me yesterday how I was so strong and brave. They wanted to know how I was doing and the tools I was using to get through this. 

I never ever want to give anyone the impression that I am strong and brave. I am broken right now. I am crushed and devastated. I cry every day and most days my three-year-old has to comfort me by telling me the things I tell him to comfort him. My husband is filled with sorrow over losing his mom, and I do not have the words to say to him.

But I am not destroyed.

The Lord has not abandoned me. Kay Warren was wearing a necklace the day her son died. It said "Choose Joy". God reaffirmed to me last night to keep on choosing joy, He promises me that joy is coming, so today, although I am sad, I am still choosing that joy.



7 comments:

  1. thank you for you from the heart post. you are encouraging so many people to keep on taking one step at a time to get through one more hour, one more day. do you read and or follow Ann Voskamp? she says we only know what we know by heart, so the way you are getting through is the word of God, because you know it, you have it hidden in your heart,just the same as Rick Warren says. May God continue to lift you up as you help each other.

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  2. I do love Ann Voskamp! Thanks so much for sharing that!! I hope this can encourage someone now or later who is dealing with something similar! :)

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  3. All I can think of to say is Bless Your Heart! All of you! Both of my parents died within 18 days of each other in August/September and as I read both yours and Jordan's thoughts, I just ache for you because I too know the pain and loss. Just continue to chose JOY and lean into the Lord, for He will hold you up when you need it most. As I have said to many who wonder some of the same things about how I am handling my situation, this is crunch time, if what I have claimed to be true doesn't sustain me during this and other trials, then what is faith all about?!? I think sharing the pain so publicly is brave and I am thrilled you guys have each other as well as friends who are helping you. It is moment by moment sometimes but just know that grief is very personal and no one should have a measure of "how you are supposed to feel and act". Love the pix of the precious babies! My 3 grandsons are the lights of my life! : ) Bless you all!

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    1. Thank you Rebecca for the sweet words... you are so right, everyone griefs differently, and that's what makes it harder because until it happens to you, you have no idea what to expect! I am so sorry about the loss of your parents, that must be terribly hard, but I am so thankful for the hope that we have in Jesus! I have no idea how people make it through without him!

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  5. The thought that comes to my mind after reading this post is the promise of "weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Cling to what you KNOW and the promises of our Father. I have shed tears with you and Jordan reading both of your blogs and thinking of my kids too. I am a 36 year old mom who just finished treatment for stage 3 breast cancer a little over a year ago. My little ones are 5 and 7 and have been through so much with having a sick mom...just like you girls. I cannot imagine them having to go through what you all are now but if they ever do I pray that they would cling to our great God just like you all are. I am praying for your hearts tonight. Hugs from Nashville!

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    1. Kelly, thank you for your kind words. And wow, so happy for you that you are done with treatment. And bless your little girls' hearts, this is so hard for little ones to understand... I am so glad that they have a momma that loves the Lord, that is exactly who taught us to be so strong. Bryan and I were/are so blessed to have the godliest women as parents. Thank you for the prayers!

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