January 8, 2014

Two weeks later.

It has been two weeks tomorrow since we lost Janet.
Two weeks.

And so far every day is getting harder.

I worked out for the first time this morning in a few months. Without fail, almost every morning while I worked out, Janet would call on her way to work to tell me something about the day or ask me about the boys. I didn't remember this until I paused my work out to mess with Hudson and the memory came flooding back. I realized she won't ever be calling me again.

The boys are having their pictures taken in two weeks. It's at 10 am on a Wednesday and I was saying to Bryan that I would have to go alone, and he started to say: "You should have my mom go with you..." but caught himself mid-sentence.

She isn't here anymore. 

I sat on the floor with both of my boys last night and read their G-Ma books with them. I don't ever want them to forget her voice. I don't want to forget her voice. Her voice cracks at the end of both books as she tells them how much she loves them. I don't want to forget the way her voice cracked like that almost every time she prayed. She always was so emotional talking to the Lord, I loved that about her. Just like her heart was in tune with His.

I told Hudson I was sad and missed G-Ma yesterday and he said "I know Mommy, I miss G-Ma too. But we will get to see her again in Heaven one day."

I am so glad that we have that hope. My heart and spirit are crushed right now. I am going to continue to cling to that hope.

I'm sorry for the sad post. This is a good outlet for me to share my emotions and feelings. This isn't easy. But I am still clinging to the promise that "joy comes in the morning".

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"What are you doing to me, G-Ma?" Hudson and Janet, Summer 2011







7 comments:

  1. Bless your heart…praying for comfort this morning!

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  2. Jenna, Bryan and family,
    I am praying for y'all! You can talk about Janet as much as you want and always share those wonderful memories of her. Even though it's been five years since my dad passed away, I have always talked about him and will continue to live his legacy. God is our refuge and strength! I am only 2 streets away if you wanna come over and talk! Love y'all!

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  3. Oh, what a precious post from a DIL about her MIL. That is so wonderful that you and Janet had such a great relationship. I am blessed with a lovely DIL and we have a great relationship too. May peace and comfort be yours in the days to come.

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  4. your post is so helpful to so many - if you sugarcoated things, lots of people would feel like they were not strong enough, or tough enough, or spiritually mature enough. You are letting them know they are ok if they are in deep, deep grief - it is only right after losing someone so precious to you May God heal you, comfort you, strengthen you, hold you, and be your all in all.

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  5. that last pic of hudson and janet is too cute! and i love hudson's little faith. no need to apologize for a sad post. love you

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  6. Our memories are such a gift. I'm sorry for your loss & your pain.

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  7. I agree Jenna....the relationship you had with your MIL is a precious gift! I miss my MIL so often...and still think of her 20 some years later! She would have LOVED to see her great grand daughter who has the same curly hair she had! She would have been so happy to see that her grand daughters, the mothers of her greats...follow the Lord and love HIM fully. Sometimes I can hardly wait to see her...and tell her about how life has gone on in HIS grip since she joined HIM. Sometimes....I just want to talk to her. But the Lord is sufficient...and His mercies are new everyday!! Janet would want you to go on...to continue to raise those boys as you are. To encourage and comfort her son. To rejoice in each day and share the Hope you have in Him! You're doing well sweet girl...you're doing well. {hugs from Chicago!}

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