October 20, 2014

Rainy Monday Reflection

It's Monday.

I don't have a point or a purpose for this post. I just am trying to do better about posting more frequently and found myself with a free space of time and decided that I could either watch TV (which I don't EVER do anymore) or I could write for a minute, so here I am.

Last night Tony came over and ate dinner and played in the back yard with Hudson. It was a perfect fall night. Bryan and I sat on the patio and played each other in Words with Friends, our new obsession. I started thinking and hoping that in a month or so we will be in our "new" back yard by our fire pit.

We had two REALLY good showings this weekend and we are hoping for a possible offer at some point this week, but the few days before that were SLOW going. When we started this process we knew it would be stressful and we were okay to not sell our house (and still are) because we really do LOVE it. We are just in a season of needing a change and have the opportunity to move to a great home super close to my parents that we love. But I've gotten really caught up in wanting to be out there, wanting things so badly to fall in to place.... and all we can do is wait.

And that's been good for me. Patience. Something I have learned not to pray for unless I am ready to be tested. Oh and I haven't prayed for it lately, because "I" don't want to have to be patient. But it's been good to wait and solely rely on the Lord in this situation. I can't go out and BEG someone to buy my house-- well I guess I could, but that would be kind of creepy.
So I've done what I can do- I've prayed. I've made it a priority to pray over my house as I am cleaning it before each showing. Praying for the people that enter knowing that more than likely one of these times those people will be the ones to move into our home. We love this home. We brought Hudson here as a 15 month old (it's the only "home" he knows) and brought Rhett home from the hospital here. I was vacuuming this home when I got the call about Janet's cancer. We came home here as a family those first fragile days after her diagnosis and then again after her death.

It was our first home to make our own, and now it will belong to someone else.

But also in this home we have already suffered a life time of sorrow. And that's part of the reason we are wanting to move on. So I pray each time that I scrub the counter and mop the floors that God brings a family to love this home like we've loved it. That they'll feel warmth and love in this house. And that He will allow us to go somewhere fresh and make new memories, the next step (we feel like) in our healing process. We haven't gotten over it. We won't get over it. Life won't ever be the same... but we are learning to live with our loss and for us, that will be easier, with a blank canvas for new memories.

So that's my heart on this rainy Monday morning. The Lord is teaching me patience and to trust in His guidance even though I am not "asking" for it.

Hope you're having a blessed start to the week!

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