For Those Moments when the Answer is No...
Where to begin? So I wrote on Tuesday that we were finally closing on our house after 7 weeks of delay... and I wrote too soon because not even two hours after that post went live, I got a phone call that things were being delayed again after being delayed in January and then delayed again last week. This whole time the delay has been with our buyer's buyer who are out of state. This time it was the straw that broke the camels back.
We've been living out of boxes since December... but even before that I packed up half of our house when we put the house on the market in October and that stuff has been in storage. I'll be honest, after that phone call on Tuesday I lost it. I was emotionally broken, exhausted and so tired of the process. Thankfully Bryan was home with me to help me sort through those emotions. Rhett was actually eating lunch in his high chair and kept pointing at me and saying "Mama cries"... At that point we knew we had a decision to make. I got up yesterday and took my boys to school and went for a 5 mile run to clear my head. It's amazing what running can do for you. I really feel like this half marathon training came in the exact right time of my life because it's been great therapy for me.
We had waited until yesterday to hear what the update was and again it wasn't good news- Delay of another week or more- and at that point, in my heart, I knew it was time to be done. We can't keep waiting and keep our lives in disarray. Bryan and I sat on our bed for two hours and weighed out the pros and cons, talked with my dad, talked with our realtor and decided 90% what we were going to do but were waiting to hear from the people whose house we were buying. I had to leave to pick my boys up from school and talked to my mom on the way... cried... exhausted and worn down... tried to make sense of the situation. And I told her what my heart had been saying since January when it fell through the first time- that for some reason it wasn't meant to be. God had obviously slammed the door 3 times now, when were we going to listen? We had left it up to what our sellers were thinking and honestly I was praying that they would make the decision for us by deciding to re-list their house because we felt awful to leave them hanging... and not even 2 minutes after I got off the phone with my mom the email came through- They were re-listing and wouldn't consider accepting another offer from us until our house was sold.
It was decided. And in my heart I felt an overwhelming peace. We were done. We could be settled again. Are we disappointed? Of course we are. But I have to believe that God has a bigger plan for us than us moving to that house for whatever reason. We bought our boys new outside toys yesterday and spent the evening together putting them together and riding them and then we went our to eat- just the four of us. Hudson took the news pretty well, probably better than I did. We called our realtor at 8 o'clock last night to let him know where our heads where. It is so nice to feel that weight lifted.
|We saw a "monster dig" by the restaurant and Hudson wanted his picture taken with it! Cute boys.|
So today and this weekend we will be unpacking and getting our house back in order. My first priority today is to unpack the boys toys (I promised Hudson) and find my plates! I am SO tired of paper plates and bowls! And I couldn't be more excited and ready to see these boxes disappear and to feel settled again. I feel like the Lord is bringing me to a season of contentment, and maybe that's what the last six months have taught us, to be content with what we have. Also... I hit a HUGE NonScale Victory yesterday-- my pre-Hudson jeans fit again. I had tried them on right after Christmas and couldn't get them to button... so this was so encouraging and proves that hard work pays off!!!
And finally, here's our