Weight loss is hard. It's a battle... an obsession, a habit... whatever you want to call it.
There are days when I am mad that I have to work out. I wish I could lay around and be lazy and never gain a pound.
I don't think it's fair that some people are naturally skinny. Why didn't I get that gene?
I can't keep certain foods in my house because I know I have a lack of self control when they're around. I want to choose vegetables and fruit on my own all the time... but usually it only happens because that's the only choice I give myself.
Honesty. That's what you're getting today.
I've been on this "journey" for a year... but really longer than that. It started as a teenager. And it's something I'm never going to be done with. This will be a journey for me the rest of my life. I've got the cards stacked up against me.
I hit a MAJOR positive in my weight loss journey yesterday and then shortly after hit a slight negative. And I let the negative outshine the positive.
Last night I went to my Weight Watchers meeting early (like always) to help set up even though my new co-leader was leading. We usually weigh ourselves in before everyone else gets there and I weighed and got extremely frustrated. I was up a couple of pounds (I say a couple, because I am not sure exactly how much because I was mad and hopped off the scale). I started doing Focus T25 this week. I've tracked every single day and other than Sunday, I have stayed within my point range. I went in the bathroom and cried. I talked to my co-leader and friends there and cried. I stormed out to the car and called Bryan and wanted to come home and not stay for the meeting (the first one I could actually attend in like 8 months) because I was mad. Emotions, y'all. For real. There was "NO" reason I had gained weight... except maybe that I had a s'more for a snack every day... and ate a Jimmy Johns sandwich on weigh day... didn't drink enough water (dumb diet coke snuck back in to my life) and started a whole new workout... and maybe it was just normal fluctuation... but I was MAD. I cried...
and y'all... I'm the LEADER. I mean, seriously.
But I'm sharing this to tell you that I'm human. My journey isn't always easy. And I mean more than weight loss when I say that. Life is hard. It's been a hard couple of months/weeks/years? and I try to keep my chin up but sometimes it just all catches up to you. I cry and get frustrated just like everyone else... anyways I stayed for the meeting and really enjoyed it. And at the end of the meeting I got to share my Non-Scale victory that I went shopping yesterday and bought jeans that were two sizes smaller and I felt a little redemption.
Stitch Fix Box and everything in it fit perfectly. In the past there has always been a thing or two that's a little too tight. So either they're chose slightly bigger things or my body is slightly smaller (I think the later due to my jean situation yesterday).
So I'll end on a positive note. Although there are many many hard things about losing weight... there are SO many positives. I feel great, I now LOVE working out, it's become my habit, I can do things that I couldn't do a year ago. I sleep good at night and feel refreshed every morning. I love going to my WW meetings every week because I have the best and most supportive friends and members. I have created a "business" from home because of this that I LOVE (both blogging and BeachBody)... so really I have SO much to be thankful for. So this week I am going back to the basics.