Motivation Monday!

I've spent so many years of my life being obsessed with food... I have never really minded working out... I actually love it most days... but food. It has such an emotional hold on me. I know it is not this way for EVERY one... but for me, it's been a thing. A horribly bad cycle of cravings and guilt. An obsession with what I am eating, how much and when. Feeling guilty if I strayed a bit and then indulging more. Weighing myself every day and being horribly upset if the scale goes up even just a few ounces. Leaving the weight of my emotional health on THAT number. (I'm sure this is probably some kind of a clinical eating disorder diagnosis... I don't really care, I am well aware of it and how to fix it, I just wanted to share that for the sake of honesty and because I am trying really hard to overcome it!)

And here is the problem. Unless I am being obsessive about what I put in my mouth--- the number on the scale DOES.NOT.BUDGE. So I'm in a catch 22.

Enter Whole30. I could eat whatever I wanted of the specific allowed food groups. I wasn't allowed to weigh (even though I cheated a tad there). I didn't have to count calories/points. I was full and I felt amazing. And I lost 10 lbs in 30 days!

So last Wednesday, my first day off of Whole30... I reintroduced a few things... and the same Thursday (we got Mexican take out after I had been at the doctor with Rhett for three hours)... and Friday and Saturday and last night I felt horrible. Massive headache. My stomach was bloated. Bryan felt like he has food poisoning all weekend and I can't help but think it is because of all the foods we'd reintroduced after being so strict for 30 days! And we really didn't OVER do it but I wasn't eating the right kinds of food and then I felt that little food guilt creepy monster coming back in. My mind was suddenly obsessed with the scale again and I worried that I had gained back the ten pounds I had lost. I sat in bed last night and decided that was the end. It's always going to be a battle. But it's the end of this obsession.

This morning I had Bryan do before pictures. I knocked out an AMAZING workout. Today is day 1 of Gamma round of Focus T25... and it's Day 1 of Whole30 Round two. I hated the way I felt last night (physically and emotionally)... and since it's round two I'm going to be modifying a little-- Bryan and I agreed that we could have Whole30 approved Tacos on corn tortillas once a week, maybe some corn chips, and I'm drinking Vegan Shakeology and the new BB performance line. My scale is back in the closet until Sept 15. I'm going to be going through MY birthday and Hudson's birthday this round... and I already promised my best friend we'd start another round Sept 14... so I'll be going right into Round 3. I know I can do it.

All of that to say-- that if you were under the crazy impression that all of this is easy for me, it's not. That I wake up wanting healthy things every day and SO ready to work out-- that's not the case. I always try to be 100% real and open and honest, because what's the point of only sharing the good things? That's not life. This is.
And after my workout this morning I felt amazing and empowered. I believe in myself and I know that I can reach my goals if I just take it day by day. I paused my workout 97x to catch my breath, take a drink, wipe up snot, change a poopy diaper... but I finished it and burned almost 400 calories.

I've got two trips to the beach planned with my BeachBody girls in the next 5 months. A cruise with all of the diamonds on my team is quickly approaching at about 12 weeks away.  I am 30 lbs from my goal weight and if I keep chugging along I could be VERY close by then. So that's my motivation.

And on that note-- you could be joining us in Miami in February if you join my team soon! I am treating all of my Emerald and above coaches to a long weekend at the beach. So far there are 9 of us going and I cannot wait!!! If you love BeachBody already all you have to do is talk about it and you could be making a great stay at home income in no time. And if you haven't tried BeachBody, but you want to-- I'd love to get you started with us too! If you join my team, or even if you don't, you get me... flaws and all... to help you along in your own journey! This is real life.

Happy Monday! I hope this leaves you motivated. If you're in a similar boat to me, I'd love to hear from you. Always helps to know that you're not alone. :)


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