September 10, 2015

I Can't Stop. I Won't Stop.




There comes a moment in your life when you realize who you are on the outside is not who you are on the inside. Then you work really hard to make those two worlds coincide. The first picture was taken on vacation the week before I started Weight Watchers and PiYo in May 2014. The second picture was taken unbeknownst to me last week at Hudson's soccer practice 15 months into my journey.

I used to be so scared of the camera. Especially of pictures that other people would take. I would hide in the back or strategically place a pillow or child on my lap to peek around. I'd wear loose clothes that did NOTHING for my body. Let me tell you a little something-- it didn't matter-- I was still unhappy with how I looked and how I felt. There is a period in time for about 3 years that there are VERY few pictures of me and my husband/my boys because I would look at it and say "ewww delete it..."

I look at the girl in the first picture and while yes, that is ME... this is such a different me than the "ME" now. I was miserable in my skin, I was always tired and never felt like running or playing with my boys, and I was so ashamed of how much weight I had gained. I look at the girl in the second picture and see strength. I see strong and slender shoulders and a killer knee scar that shows how far I have come despite the odds. I see that picture and I don't cringe... I see that picture and I am PROUD of myself. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I am SO proud of how far I have come. 

I want my boys to grow up with confidence in themselves. I want them to see their own pictures and see strength. I don't want them to be ashamed of who they are. They are my WHY. Every single day. If I have a little girl one day, I will do everything in my power to help her build that confidence and not struggle like I did for so long.

I never knew how much my weight loss/fitness journey would change my life. I never knew how it would impact my kids. I never thought it would be a second income for me that we use as a means to pay off student loan debt. I never knew I could feel this good and be this confident in my skin.

But I know now. And I can't stop. I won't stop. Every day is a choice and I choose to keep going. Day in and Day out.

Happy Thursday.



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