To This You Were Called.

When I was a teenager I felt a strong call from God to the mission field.

At that time it meant Mexico. I've been on roughly 10ish mission trips to Mexico. I used to dream of opening a clinic/pharmacy where American churches could rotate medical mission trips through. That dream isn't gone, it's still there in the back of my mind.

But here's the thing. 32 year old Jenna is in a different season than 17 year old Jenna was in. Not that I couldn't take that dream and run with it, I guess I could... but raising children and this season I am in now, it's, in a lot of ways, harder. 

My heart loves the people in Mexico, every ounce of my being longs to go and help them but I also realize that my mission field is a little narrower these days. I've got three little people and a husband to care for. 

I've known since becoming a mother that this is my current mission field. 
My town is my mission field. 
My friends are my mission field.

So in October when I got the phone call from one of my best friends that she needed help/advice/I don't really know what she intended with that phone call, come to think of it, but that is a snap shot in my mind I will never forget, I went.

I didn't for a second hesitate to drive to her house that morning and then God made this next mission field very clear to us. 

I hadn't hesitated for a second since that I was in the center of God's will for me. I remember talking to my mom on the phone one night, I was probably crying because I was tired and felt like I had nothing left to give, and she said, "Jenna, just because God calls you to something doesn't mean it'll be easy." I have clung to those words more times than I could count. 

Fast forward some weeks and a lot of headache and heartache. Mix in some confusion and a lot of unknowns. THEN add two holidays and deciding to put our big boys in school full time. My faith began to waiver. I had people who I love question me and what we were doing. I started to hesitate. And worry. The anxiety that God had healed me from crept back in.

I opened my Bible after being "too busy" and these words were there.

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." 
1 Peter 2:21

Whoa, what? God could you be any clearer? To THIS you were called?

It was like God was saying, "Jenna, I've been right here all along. I've had these words for you, I gave you this mission. I do not waiver. I called you to THIS and I sent my son to be an example for you to follow."

...well okay then. Stop having your pity party. Are you hanging on a cross? No. Sleep deprived maybe, but no crosses are currently involved. 

We are studying Luke in our small group right now and our leader said on Sunday that Jesus could have stopped his crucifixion. He could have called the angels to come take him at any moment, but he didn't. I'd never REALLY thought about that. The moments in my life when I've been in the most excruciating pain, I would have done ANYTHING to make it stop. But Jesus persevered to save ME. a little lack of sleep and a little more chaos, I can totally handle that.

My hope for you in reading this is that you'll see that if you're in a season of doubt, if you're unsure of God's plan. If you're scared, worried or just exhausted. God has called you to whatever your THIS is. He's gone before you and is right beside you.

"I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken." 
Psalm 16:8

We still don't know the ending of this current season. But I know who has called me. I may not be opening a clinic in Mexico right now, but I AM raising mighty warriors who I hope will love and follow Jesus hard all the days of their lives. 

To THIS you were called.


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